For My Slumdawg (From The Archives)

My best friend, Slumdawg’s boyfriend, commented today that if people didn’t know any better they’d think we were a couple. I responded that we’d be celebrating 30 years of love, peace and happiness next year….
~from the April 2006 archives~

“lil’ jade!! get all that gum outta your mouth! go brush your teeth before you end up having to get them pulled out like your auntie beloved!!”

~that heffa jade*, 4/26/06~

you are the ONLY person that can say some junk like that to my Goddie and make me burst out laughing while i’m in pain. it still hurts to smile, yet every time we talk i can’t help but laugh and laugh and laugh. a wide open-mouthed see my emerging wisdom tooth (andohmyGODithurtssobad) laugh. oh, the times that we’ve had…and yes, there are 2 sides to every story so like i promised you, i will leave my comments open TEMPORARILY so that you can say your peace, lest you slander my name on your site. i ain’t scared!!

we have been through so much together. remember the picture of you on that big wheel? i swear, my Goddie looks JUST like you did back then…with the same mouth and serious look. remember back in the day when you used to didn’t cuss? remember when you used to quote scripture? i still say “lawd, jeezus keep me near the cross while you hold my mule” because of you. what about the time when we gave your 8th grade boyfriend that laxative gum and sent him on the scream machine cuz he cheated? or when we witnessed “man love 2005″? i’m still mad that you were going to leave me alone to witness the sequel….

you’re the only person that believed me when i told you that i saw your grandaddy and spoke to him on the porch after he passed the week before. you believed me ’cause you saw him too. you’re the only person that i’ve ever been able to truly call my friend. you pretty much know the “me” behind the scenes. and you’ve never called me crazy…not once. and neither have i to you, although you always say, “you know, most people think i’m crazy but…” i guess we’re two lunatics that just happened to escape the asylum.

your spirit gives me peace – even in my most terrifying moments. remember when i “totaled, totaled, totaled!” that car in 1995? the first thing that i said was, “jade, are you dead?” because everything was so still. although you couldn’t open your door, you still said in that calm, reassuring southern drawl, “um…no…can you open your door? ok, good. now, get out slowly. you straight? now RUN!!” ’cause you thought that the gas tank was about to explode.

there we were, running down I-285 in the dark. and when i saw that the car, that didn’t belong to me and i wasn’t supposed to be driving in the first place, had no back to it and was crushed in i wanted to run out onto the expressway and commit suicide. still, you didn’t flinch. as i started to hurl myself into the oncoming traffic, you simply held my hand and calmly said, “bytch, don’t be stupid” .

have we ever even had an argument? nope. no female drama. no unresolved issues. i can’t wait to see us grow old and hear what you have to say – although you already have an 80 year old woman’s mouth in a 31 year old body – so i can’t imagine what would shock me at that point.

you’re the only person that i get openly sappy and mushy for and you know that says a lot. i think this weekend i’m gonna go buy me some yarn and make you one of those ugly ass friendship bracelets…and you BETTA wear it…’cause you know if you don’t i’ll cut you…

*Jade (RIP 2007) is now called Slumdawg on this site since she retired her blog.