“When he stares at me, you see he cares for me….”
About 5 years ago, I sat down and made my “list”. Ladies, you know the one. Y’all have it written down somewhere, whether it’s hidden in the pages of a journal, tucked in your bible or gathering dust in the back of your mind. One day, I’m gonna take it out and give it to my husband so that he can see how HE matched up against HIM (lol).
I’m pretty sure he’ll measure up quite nicely, because since I wrote that list – I’ve dated nothing but guys that exhibited the qualities that I thought were important to me back then. But now that I’ve had relationships and attractions since writing it, other things have become more important to me….like the ‘Must Love Dogs’ thing. I’ve hesitated to revise my list, though, because it seems that I really don’t realize the newly important things until they actually happen to me. I’ve just taken to letting my spirit guide me and absorb the new things that I didn’t think to ask for, but God seems to provide.
Like eye contact. I’m not talking about the meaty eyed let’s-take-it-to-the-room smoldering gaze (although those are GREAT 
) . I’m not even talking about the Barack and Michelle that’s-my-baby look (although those are heart-melting). The look that I mean is one that can only come when I’m around a man who carries himself with strong sense of calm and certainty in his aura. For some men, when you delve beneath the surface, that “confidence” is really false bravado or a public facade. But it’s an absolutely amazing experience to spend time with someone who is completely comfortable enough in his own skin to allow you to be comfortable to move around in yours.
Sometimes, I get really nervous or anxious. I have a difficult time verbalizing things that are important. There are other times, when I literally hold my breath without realizing it for no apparent reason. It’s in those moments, that it feels really good to know that someone can look into my eyes or observe my body become tense and quietly say “Breathe…” without being funny or better still, patiently hold my gaze until I get it together. Until recently, I honestly don’t think that I can say that I’ve that kind of connection with another person since my 20′s.
I also have a tendency to get sassy. Lord knows, it takes a strong, steady spirit to stand still in the midst of that, look down at me, eyes twinkling with amusement, and TRY to put me in my place with an eyebrow raise or a tiny smile until I “find some ack right” (ask my mama lol). It’s little things like that, that seem small but will eventually spill over into other areas that I never seemed to think about before. That connection will be vital as I look towards monumental moments like household arguments, childbirth, deaths of loved ones and other triumphs and tragedies. It’s important even during those joking times when he works my nerves and I threaten to bash him in the forehead with my cast iron skillet. I want to be able to lock eyes with my love in all of those moments and feel steady, knowing they can handle all of me without wavering – no matter what.
“He looks at me and his brown eyes tell it so…”
~Brown Eyes: Destiny’s Child~
