Back to the Middle…AGAIN…lol

When I was a little girl, my mother described my spiritual energy as a strong vibratory force. She said that during a time when I was on the brink of throwing one of my many childhood tantrums (lol), but over the years I’ve found that she’s right. When I’m in goodness and light mode, my energy radiates. People around me can feel it and it’s almost like they’re drawn into it and they don’t know why. I’ve heard people tell me on more than one occasion that I look as though light bounces off of me and they smile happily in my presence . I always laugh and tell them that they don’t want to see the “other” side of me…..

When I’m angry – even when I don’t say a word – I can suck the soul out of a place. That’s not to say that I pout or am rude, unkind or anything like that. It’s just that I notice, if I’m ‘off’ – people around me tend to feed and exhibit the same energy. Being aware of this makes me careful. When I feel off, I tend to withdraw from the world until I get myself together.

November was an AMAZING month for me, but during the last part of my break last week – I went into a mini-energy crisis mode. There wasn’t any specific event or cataclysmic happening that caused me to shut down. With the exception of my workplace (another post for another day), everything in my life has been really good. Still…I just felt bad, sad, disconnected…

…but not really. For some reason (maybe because I consider myself to be Divinely connected with everything around me), my body sent out a “bat signal” to the universe. And the universe responded in several ways. The one that struck me was an impromptu conversation that started w/ my Twitter BFF’s. There are 4 of us that “tweet” each other every day. 3 of us are line sisters, but all 4 of us grew up together and attended the same elementary, high school and college. We all practice different forms of worship (traditional Christian, New Thought and Buddhist).

WHOA! That just tripped me out as I typed it – the differences in our FAITH, although our upbringing and education was almost identical. LOL!

What started out as an innocent conversation about spiritual similarities in our faiths vs. our tendency to get in our own way, I realized what’s been disturbing me so much. I had been experiencing “spiritual amnesia” <– just jacked that term from Rev. Maisha from Agape International Spiritual Center because I’m listening to her right now .

I’ve been plugging into so many distractions. While I should be taking this year off to plug-in to myself, I have been allowing myself to immerse myself in distractions so that I don’t necessarily have to focus on my growth. I can tell because I notice myself seeing “problems”, falling in w/ the crowd or complaining a lot – things that I don’t normally do.

This week has been a test for me. I’ve cut myself off from my daily “fixes” – coffee/lunch chats, music, talk radio and Y’ALL (I’ve stayed off Google Reader and blogs) and I’ve concentrated on bringing myself back to my center…especially at work. It’s only Wednesday and I’ont know if I can hold out too much longer. But I was actually surprised at how peaceful I was at 4PM and how the people who tap dance on my last nerve merely tiptoed on them.

So what about you guys? Do you feel when you’re off-balance? Does it just affect you or does your energy affect your surroundings? How do you deal?