~from the november 2008 archives~

so, i’m taking this leadership class in my county.  it’s for people that aspire to be community leaders, run for public office, that sort of thing.  i’ve often told you about my small town of “mayberry” – 30 miles south of atlanta.  i label myself as a country girl with a city swirl and so for the last 6 years, i’ve fallen in and out of love with my town.

part of what we’ve been dealing with down here is “cul.tur.al di.ver.sity” and race relations.  this place used to be EXTREEEEEMELY segregated to the point where you can actually visit slave cabins. if you google my side of town it’s literally labeled in yahoo! maps as “blacksville” because during reconstruction, some of the free blacks were given land on one side of town where the descendants of those freedmen still reside in shanty-like homes to this day.  so fast forward to the new millennium, where  most of us ATLiens craved good old country living and the northern invasion permeated the suburbs (but billybob and miss sally jane never left) and you’ve got a potential powder keg.

for the past month, i’ve been immersed in div.er.sity training as a part of my leadership class. supposedly, i’ve been tapped because i have the ability to bridge the gap.  *insert surprised look here*; and although a part of me goes into each session with a hefty amount of cynicism – sometimes i wonder if a part of me is changing.

i now have white friends – like real, live non-associate, genuine white FRIENDS.  we talk on the phone, we laugh, we cry, we celebrate, we love – white friends. i’m used to having older, white people “friend” me  (c) Facebook/MySpace, but i’ve always looked at it in the webster/whachoo talkin’ ’bout willis type sense.  you know………they see a cute, lovable non-threatening negro with potential and they’re all willing to lend a hand.  but in this new reality, i’m talking about friends that are my age.

it didn’t hit me until the night that obama gave his acceptance speech for the democratic convention.  my friends and i – of which, i was the only black person, had been going back and forth about a date for our girls’ night out during restaurant week.  the only evening that we could all get together was that thursday. 

my first thought was “OBAMA!!!”, but i’d already decided to DVR the speech.  but then, THEY all realized that we would miss the speech and began to try to figure out how to do both – finally agreeing to go back to one of the girl’s house 15 minutes away and follow up w/ desert and wine.

as i sat with my friends – me ….the only black, with a family history of rape, castration, lynching, false imprisonment – sitting in the same room with women who have just as much southern history (albeit the other side of the game lol) ; cheering and jumping up and down for what is probably going to be our first black president of color.  it was a surreal experience.

the next week, i sat in my cul.tur.al div.er.sity workshop with a black women right around my mother’s age.  she’s already in a position of leadership within our county.  i and another younger black person were having a conversation about racism with her.  the woman’s rage and hurt for white people was palpable…it reminded me of a conversation that i had with my own usually mild-mannered mother.  we (the younger people) were more open to seeing white people as ‘people’ first, while the older generation (this woman and my mother) felt as though they couldn’t be trusted.

for the first time, i realized that maybe times were really changing…maybe king’s dream wasn’t deferred after all.  maybe, my generation was meant to bridge the gap and heal the hurt.

yesterday, one of my white friends cried in my arms while confiding a tough situation she was experiencing to me and then 2 hours later we laughed and high-fived each other.  we spoke on the phone for about an hour that evening and ended the conversation with declarations of love for the other.  she – a usually hardcore, non-outwardly expressive person- let her guard down in front of me.   the emotion, the connection was genuine and transcended race.  and judging from previous situations where she’s had my back i instinctively know that if i needed to, i could also let my guard down with her.  wow.

maybe times are changing….