“You cant keep a PLANT Alive..Thats the 1st clue to why you cant keep Your RELATIONSHIPS ALIVE.. They BOTH drive off the same elements.”
I was lurking and giggling on Twitter a few weeks ago, reading one of my follower’s regular Black Power rants until I stopped mid-chuckle and realized that the plants on my front porch looked like this:
Stop giving me the Prince side-eye (>_>)!! Every spring, I have the best intentions. I really do. I hit up my local nursery and do it big. Mama SoJo usually comes and we have a girl’s weekend – pruning, planting, perfecting. One year, I had the makings of an awesome vegetable and herb garden in the corners of my backyard. And then…come mid-summer…DEAD. Everything. DEAD.
One year, it was so bad that my mom said “Why do you have rotting peppers looking like large penises on display?” 
As eager and tender as I am in the beginning, I let all of my hard work go to waste after a month. I become distracted with LIFE (let me tell it) and I don’t have time for greenery. Besides, it’s all replaceable, right?
It wasn’t until I read that status on Twitter, that I realize that I have a habit of doing the same thing in my relationships – romantic and platonic. I plant seeds, water, fertilize, prune, enjoy the beauty… and then I quit. It’s not something that is intentional – it just happens.
As with everything in my life (I keep telling y’all that nothing happens to me by chance), that particular status was posted right before I heard about Divine Nourishment. When Mary spoke about her special relationship w/ Earth and plants (she’s an expert in plant medicine), I found myself longing to have that type of connection with the soil and its fruits.
It took me back to my maternal Grandma SoJo and how everything she touched used to bloom. And how my paternal Grandma SoJo had a garden in her tiny backyard that reminded me of the mother in the movie Baby Boy. She lived in the city, but grew everything from corn to collards in her small space. I was flooded with memories of my mother creating a garden in our backyard when I was a child. I loved taking my fingers and pushing the seeds deep into the earth.
So I made a vow to spend more time “playing in dirt”. I don’t mean going thru the motions of what I felt like I was supposed to do each spring. But really PLAY in dirt. Walking around barefoot in my backyard. Getting dirty. Reviving my outdoor plants. I began talking to them each morning. And I made sure every evening that we had a designated time that I sat outdoors with them, so that they could learn my spirit and I could learn theirs.
I know it sounds crazy, but I began to “hear” the plants speaking back to me. There’s this pull that I feel when it’s time for me to do something with them – whether its give them more (or less) water, clip blossoms and bring them inside to display on my dining room table, or just simply touch their leaves. Somehow, I feel as though this process is helping me with my personal relationships as well. I make more of an effort to try to listen and feel what the people in my life need from me and I think hope that I’m more attentive than I have been in the past.
And those dead stems from the beginning of my post? Well, I moved them to my back patio where they could have some company with a few more pots of plants and herbs and began to nurse them back to LIFE. Let me tell you, that talking thing really does work. The day after I began randomly coo-ing at them, the leaves seemed to grow overnight. Even Kedar has gotten into the habit of trotting over to each plant (there are about 8 now) and rubs his nose on them. Eventually, blossoms began to reappear. Here’s what they looked like after tonight’s rainshower:
Awesome post! Thank you!
Thank you and you’re welcome!
Grow those blooms girl! I love it!
Learning, growing and blossoming every day, chica!
Good stuff! Those plants look happy.
It makes sense, plus you have to slow down
to have beautiful plants. That probably carries over.
My daughter loves to garden. I will be
sure to help develop that love.
I never thought about the slowing down part, but makes total sense – especially when you tie it into nurturing/relationship building.
Even though I’ve been busier than usual at work, I had to make myself slow down for my playing in dirt time. That caused me to re-evaluate what I was spending my free time doing. Come to think of it, most of it was pointless and tiring. Kinda like how we get caught up in being busy and neglect the ones we love, when those bonds are what gives us energy.
DEFINITELY cultivate that love in your little one. And take lots of pictures. That way, when she becomes a teenager or young adult and becomes busy with LIFE, she’ll still remember her roots.
you’re so smart sojo.
i hope when can all say we knew you when. waiting for my copy of “the collected wisdom of sojo”
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