Miss Independent

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6M5C-oKw9k]

Let me start off by saying, “NOPE!” This is not that kinda post…you know…about how I have it all together and don’t need a man. Uh-uh. Y’all know me well enough by now to know that I am SOOOO not that chick. LOL!

But…I will admit that the scene in the video where the silhouettes of the women strut ting in holding their briefcase? My co-workers say that’s me. The shoes that Lauren London props up on her desk? I have those. I walk like a boss and talk like a boss. Annnddddd….I stress myself out like a boss.

It’s only been two weeks back into the full throng of things and I’ve found myself 2 seconds from cussing someone slap out at least 3 times a day. Today was the worst. I had to excuse myself to take a walk around the track at 9:30AM. In the past, I’ve just let things simmer and eventually boil up into elevated blood pressure, headaches and the like. But this year, I’ve made a vow to mySELF to nip that stuff in the bud early on.

For the most part, I have. I eat lunch! I know that sounds like something normal to most of you, but I have the type of job where people are in and out of my office all day. Even when I try to take a break, it never fails that someone will knock and say, “I see you’re busy, eating, etc. BUT…..” I am expected to be on TEN from the moment I step in the door.  I try to park in the back of the building in order to slide in unnoticed, but that doesn’t even work.   And my co-workers, God bless them but even they can be more taxing than the students – especially when I’m in crunch mode and they are on break.  Sometimes, I want to scream “WHERE ARE MY BREAKS, DAMMIT!?!?!?!”   LeSigh…

But not this year. I physically leave (since shutting the door never works) .  I have a secret hiding place that no one knows about and no one ever will.  I also do laps around the track – walking and reading, jogging, whatever it takes to BREATHE (that hand over belly, inner-child BREATHING from my last post) during my 45 minute reprieve.  Even with all of my mental safety-nets in place, I admit that today really got to me. So I browsed through my Meditations for Women site and found this post.

The question asked:

“Who do you work for?”

The answer was:

“No matter what you do or who you work with, the work you do must be for you.  If you’re an employee in a business, think of yourself as a consultant. Start managing your career as you would your own company.”

Well, damn. That initially went against everything that they tell me about my profession; the nurturer, the helper, the giver. But then when I read further, I realized that I could still be all of those things and remain in control of my surroundings. I don’t always HAVE to pay the cost to be the boss.

An effective “boss” knows how to create a well-oiled machine and then allow it to run with out always feeling the need to be involved in every piece of drama that slides down the pike. A real boss knows that a company is only as strong as its leadership and if that’s off-kilter, everything around it is in chaos.  A wise boss knows how to run an organization without letting it run her. So, I’m learning to step back a little bit – control my job, instead of letting it control me.