“…from the moment I saw him on the sonogram scream, my husband and I locked eyes with joy and fear….”
~Facebook comment from TDJ
This comment has replayed in my mind over and over again since I read it on a friend’s FB page on a thread about the Trayvon Martin tragedy. The commenter was referring to the conflicting emotions that she felt when it was confirmed that she and her husband were having a male child. A black male child.
As much as I talk about living LIFE without fear, channeling positive energy, surrounding my family and loved ones daily with light and protection – I understood her words completely. And I can’t seem to shake them. As much as I look forward to hopefully one day watching my future son imitate his father’s walk…the one that makes me swoon…will I also be afraid that his stride will be TOO confident? Possibly intimidating? Or because I know he’ll probably inherit both his father and his mother’s quick wit (since sarcasm will probably be taught as a 1st language in my home, with English being the 2nd language), will he appear TOO cocky?
How do you balance raising your son to be proud, confident and unapologetically who they are while making sure that they understand the danger in being so? We can pretend that we’re post-racial all day long. But the truth of the matter is that MY son in a black hoodie and someone else’s son in a black hoodie will have completely different implications to the outside world. It’s hard not to look at my white friends’ sons in this “post-racial” world and know that there are some conversations that they’re never going to have to have with their children….or whisper in hushed tones with their spouses.